#quick remedy
3 steps to
in uncertain times
(free coping chart)
June 1, 2020
Find out how to break your pattern of feeling stressed and insecure by external changes and create a stronger identity to help you cope during and after COVID-19.
Starting point: Feeling uncertain
My client, Emma (name changed), is an enthusiastic and highly driven professional with a clear vision. Recently, she described being stressed and uncertain about her future and her goals as the world radically changes with COVID-19.
We worked out the following approach:
Step 1: Acknowledging and taking responsibility
Have you ever considered that thoughts appear only in our internal world?
And not only thoughts but also feelings and, indeed, any sensation we are aware of, are exclusively within us.
Acknowledging that these sensations feel pretty real but do NOT exist outside of our awareness can help us make our decisions more freely.
Note to self: Our thoughts are not tangible objects like a mountain or a tree. They lose their power if we don’t engage or identify with them.
Step 2: Focussing on values and identity
Our answer to the question: “Who are you?” seems to be important for our self-concept, Rogers (1959).
If the answer tends to emphasize the roles we take externally, such as a “mother”, “doctor” or “an analyst”, we don‘t answer the question with our true identity and values.
Knowing oneself as an “authentic communicator”, a “talented organiser” or a “selfless helper” focuses on the truth that comes from within us. It is the certainty that we can rely on our core values and abilities which allows us to avoid falling into self-doubt.
Step 3: Checking and Choosing your Mindset
The findings of Stanford professor, Carol Dweck, prove that how we identify ourselves guides our behaviour and shapes our life.
She proofs that a person with a “fixed” mindset believes in limited resources such as “a certain amount of intelligence, talents and abilities”. So the goal becomes not “to become smart” but to “not look dumb”.
Whereas a person with a “growth” mindset believes that everyone can get smarter if they work at it. “Intelligence, talents and abilities can be developed through effort, learning and continuity”.
Conclusion:
Picturing your future self in uncertain circumstances can be hard if you are identifying yourself constantly with the outside world.
The direct and only way to take the edge off uncertainty is by accepting your thoughts and worries and directing your awareness to your core values.
Your mindset plays and important role within this process. A growth mindset seems to anchor us for more success and confidence.
